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Always ~ Chapter 8

Always

LILYG

Chapter Eight 

“I thought you said you were going to have a shower?” I asked Edward, grinning down at him. “You know we need to leave in about twenty minutes.”

He was lying underneath me on my bed, and I was sitting on him, straddling him. We had both woken in a playful mood.

“I am,” he said, sitting up and kissing my neck. “I just want to spend a little more time here,” he muttered into my skin. “I want to make the most of our time alone, babe.”

His hands stroked down the bare skin on my back, sending tingles of pleasure spiraling through my body.

“Mmm,” I almost lost the power of speech as he continued peppering my neck with kisses.

As he pulled back slightly, I looked into his eyes, and he stared back at me. We were silent for a moment or two and the seriousness of our feelings for each other was imparted once more.

I leaned towards him and kissed him deeply.

Edward finally released me and headed to the communal bathroom. I flopped back on the bed relishing the feeling of waking up in Edward’s warm strong arms. After the previous night’s intimacy, Edward had made every effort to reassure me everything was wonderful. In fact, he said it had turned him on so much that I stroked myself until I came. I had showered to clean myself up and we’d spent time cuddling and talking until we fell asleep. We barely moved and both woke up early, refreshed and happy to be together.

By the time Edward returned from the bathroom, I’d dressed and was almost ready to leave. Edward entered my room wearing a vivid lime green t-shirt under a more sedate grey jacket. He certainly had the knack of choosing eye-catching clothing. His damp copper hair was beautifully calmed for once, that is until he ran his fingers through it several times while I was putting on my shoes.

“It will be considerably colder as we reach a higher altitude, hun. I think we should take an extra jumper and gloves just in case. I’ve brought some gloves with me, but can I borrow one of your jumpers?”

I smiled at him and pulled out two jumpers from my chest of drawers. I handed Edward my newest and thickest jumper—the one my mother had bought for me in case of snow. It was covered in reindeer motifs and snowflakes.

Edward took it from me with a smile, but raised an eyebrow when he caught a glimpse of the pattern. “You’ve worn this?” he asked suddenly in a slightly higher pitch.

“Yes.” I told a small lie. Well, I’d tried it on just to make sure it fitted me. I had never worn it outside of the house, but Edward didn’t need to know that.

With Edward proudly wearing my jumper, we drove out to the meeting place for his treat of the hot-air balloon ride as the sun was rising above the horizon. The light was shining across the clouded sky sending the most beautiful rose-colored patterns dancing through the windscreen.

Pulling into a field, we could see the balloon was already prepared for our flight and, as we parked up, Edward said, “Are you sure you will be all right with the height, babe? You were a little anxious at the top of the climbing wall yesterday.”

I hadn’t really given it much thought. All I’d cared about was spending time with Edward. “I’m sure I’ll be fine, Edward. The basket looks large and sturdy enough.” I tried to reassure him. I didn’t want him to have wasted all this money for nothing.

We walked over and introduced ourselves to the flight organizer. While Edward chatted away, I took some deep breaths to calm my sudden nerves. I’d expected there to be more people on the trip, but Edward had arranged this special flight for the two of us. I dreaded to think how much it had cost him. Money didn’t ever seem to be an issue for him. I decided his family must be reasonably wealthy.

As we stepped onboard, we were greeted warmly and handed a glass of champagne by a young male attendant. I immediately sipped the celebratory drink to calm my increasing nerves, taking in the size of the enormous balloon.

I downed my drink to give me added courage as the balloon started to rise into the air. I gripped the basket’s edge and Edward stepped in behind me. Seeing I was nervous, Edward wrapped his arms around me and held me close against his chest. Edward distracted me by nibbling my ear and whispering words of reassurance. I avoided the eyes of the pilot and the flight attendant, trying to pretend we were alone.

“I’ve got you, babe. You’ll be safe, I promise. Just you wait until we get back down, I’m going to do what you did to me last night,” he purred quietly into my ear.

I closed my eyes and pictured Edward’s lips and mouth pleasuring me. Getting an immediate boner was a definite cure for my fear of heights. I pushed back into Edward and felt he was hard, too. If only we were alone, then we could have joined the mile-high club. I sniggered at the thought, but resisted repeating the idea to Edward. Perhaps I’d tell him later. He nuzzled into the side of my head and he chuckled. I wondered if he could read my mind after all.

Finally, I opened my eyes to risk a peak at the view. The fields beneath swept further below us. My breathing changed again, but not because I was turned on. The wind was whistling around the basket making a lot of noise and, as we rose higher, my head started to spin and I was suddenly gasping for air. I realized I was beginning a panic attack. I needed to step well away from the edge of the basket, so I turned around in Edward’s arms. Closing my eyes, I rested my head on his shoulder.

“Jay, are you okay?” he said, holding me closer. “I can tell them to go down if you’re too uncomfortable.”

I didn’t want that. After all the effort and consideration Edward had shown me, I couldn’t hurt him like that. I never wanted to hurt him. Ever.

For fuck’s sake, get a grip, you wimp!

Edward, seemingly oblivious to the two other people in the basket, continued to talk to me in an attempt to get me to relax and calm down.

Within a few minutes, he had me facing outwards, still with his arms securely fastened around me, but he was getting me to focus on the amazing view. With slow, deep breaths, I started to appreciate the beauty of our surroundings. We could indeed see for miles and miles around us. The clouded sky had given way to a beautiful pale blue, and in the distance, I marveled at the sloping horizon and the natural wonder of our planet. I felt so small and insignificant in the whole scheme of things. I realized what truly mattered was the beautiful man standing behind me. He was my everything now and always would be—no matter what.

Edward stared at me as I absorbed the picturesque view and reached my life-enhancing awakening. He whispered so quietly I wasn’t sure if I’d heard him correctly at first, “I love you.”

I blinked and waited for him to say it again. I wanted him to say it repeatedly.

He didn’t disappoint.

“I love you, Jay,” he said, a little louder this time. “I love you so much.”

Even though I was a spineless wimp, afraid of heights—afraid of everything it seemed—Edward still loved me. My heart flipped and a beautiful warm oozed around my body.

I was about to tell Edward I loved him too, when the flight attendant brought over more champagne and bowls of chopped fruit for us to eat. Edward released me as he accepted his and poured some cream over his portion. We stood side by side chomping on the succulent pieces. My mind and heart were still reeling from Edward’s words and I was beaming as I shoveled my pieces of fruit into my mouth. Edward saved his last strawberry and fed it to me from his spoon. Some cream ran down my chin and before I could wipe it away, Edward’s tongue lapped it up. I wanted to kiss him, but the sound of someone clearing his throat made me pull back a little and wipe my chin with my napkin. Edward smiled cheekily at me and my cock thickened. I cleared my throat as well as a warning for him not to start anything we couldn’t finish here.

All too soon, the balloon descended. By now, my fears had completely ebbed away and had been replaced by an overwhelming sense of happiness.

We landed smoothly, and after thanking the pilot, we were driven back to our starting point by the flight attendant.

“Thank you, Edward.” I beamed. “Despite my girly behavior, I really enjoyed that.”

“My pleasure, sunshine.” He grinned back at me. “And I meant what I said.”

I hoped he was referring to the fact that he loved me, but I also hoped he was going to spend some time loving on me when we got back to my room. I sincerely hoped Edward meant everything he said to me.

“So where next, hun, your place or mine?” Edward teased.

“Is your house going to be empty?” I asked.

Edward shrugged and shook his head. “Probably not and we can’t guarantee not being disturbed. I vote we go to your place. I really want some alone time with you, Jay.”

My knees went weak and my cock pulsed in anticipation. “I think you’ve decided for us, not that I’m complaining.” I smiled at him. Edward definitely seemed less nervous with the idea of our intimacy. If anything, he was being more forward and bold, and I loved how he was confidently flirting with me.

We stopped off at a store to buy some hot chicken and fries as well as some fresh bread and milk to keep us sustained for the rest of the day.

We parked up and approached the entrance door with our arms loaded up. Fortunately, two other guys I recognized went in just before us and held the door as I would have struggled to key in the security code to unlock the door.

“Thanks, man,” I offered and smiled at their familiar faces.

“No problem.”

I held the door open with my elbow for Edward and we almost tripped over each other as we fell into the entranceway.

“Have you two boys been drinking already?” one of the guys called back to me.

I giggled and shook my head.

“We’ve had some champagne,” Edward reminded me. “And you had a lot more glasses than I did because I was driving.”

“I’m not drunk. I’m just happy.” I beamed back at him.

We were both high-spirited and bubbly after our exhilarating morning.

We stripped off our outer layers and thick jumpers before settling down on my bed to eat our chicken lunch.

When we had finished, I cleared the plates and was about to take them to the kitchen to wash.

“I’m impressed, hun,” Edward said with a cheeky smile. “I must be having some effect on you.”

“You certainly are,” I said, “and in more ways than one. Won’t be long, Edward. Why don’t you have a play on my guitar while I rinse these plates?”

When I returned, Edward was playing our song and singing some sweet words to it, too. I closed the door and stood there taking in the perfect sight before me. He looked gorgeous and sounded so wonderful I wanted to show him exactly how I felt about him.

Edward had added some beautiful words to his melody and he sang them with such emotion as he looked at me, I almost melted into the floor. As he finished, he placed the guitar back in its case and held out his hand to me.

“Come here, sweetheart,” he said softly.

Without hesitation, I made my way over to the love of my life. I wanted to get both of us naked this afternoon and take our time so we could explore each other’s bodies.

Edward shifted over and lay down, pulling me next to him. We wrapped our arms around each other and started kissing. In less than a minute, we became breathless and hot, and started rubbing our stiff cocks together.

“I don’t want to come in my pants,” I told him.

Edward smiled and murmured against my lips, “I want you to come in my mouth, babe, so I can taste you.”

I groaned at the thought and pulled Edward even closer. My hands wandered over his back and buttocks, squeezing and rubbing him. Within moments, he was doing the same to me, and pulling my t-shirt higher to expose my chest to him. He shifted his body so his lips could make contact with my skin and I writhed under him as he sucked and licked his way over my flesh. My fingers carded through his hair or stroked over his arms and shoulders. I felt the need to be in constant contact with him.

Edward eventually eased my t-shirt off completely and I took the opportunity to remove his, too. We both moaned when our bare chests rubbed together for the first time without the barrier of clothing to separate us. We continued to kiss and cuddle and grind against each other for a while, but as we both needed so much more, it was only a matter of time before Edward was running his tongue down the centre of my body en-route to my jeans. He palmed over my cock a few times, before undoing my buttons and releasing my rigid cock. He hummed appreciatively before sliding his tongue over my flesh. I was torn between watching him and just letting my head fall back on the bed with my eyes closed. I wanted to focus on the pleasure he was about to give me, but at the same time I wanted to watch his beautiful face as he made me come.

In the end, I watched as he took my cock into his mouth and our eyes met briefly. He smiled at me for a second, and then focused on bobbing his head over me and taking me to the back of his throat. By now, I was close to coming and surrendered to the intense feelings building up deep inside my core as his tongue swirled around me. I closed my eyes and let my body do what it needed to do. My balls tightened and I felt a flutter over my groin as I began to come. My body twitched with each spasm as my body erupted forcefully and my spunk pulsed out of my throbbing cock into Edward’s expectant mouth. I lifted my head and groaned as I released my final few spurts and had to pull Edward away from my now over-sensitive head. I lay there still feeling the effects of my orgasm as he slid up my body and lapped his tongue over my mouth. For a few seconds, I still couldn’t respond to his kiss as I was still panting and basking in my sweet aftermath.

“Wow, Edward,” I finally said, “that was something else, so… intense.” My lips started to respond to his. I tasted and smelt myself on him. I wanted to return the pleasure immediately, but I was still a little overcome with my feelings.

Prolonging our kissing for a while, I rubbed over Edward’s hard cock and then slipped my hand inside his loose jeans. I gripped him firmly and brushed over the head, which was peeking out of his underwear. Sliding my hand under the fabric, I took hold of him and stroked up and down. Edward groaned and undid his jeans for me. He shifted them down to his thighs along with his briefs. I pulled them off completely and threw them across my room. I continued to wank him and my cock hardened again. I peppered kisses over his neck and chin before moving downwards and lapped around his hot nipple and belly piercings. I was tempted to take his cock into my mouth, but with his grunts and moans, I knew he was close to his release so I built up the speed of my movements. I shifted back and leaned over him, watching his face as he reached his climax. He looked so beautiful with his eyes closed and his soft lips parted as he panted out little noises of pleasure. His stomach tensed and flexed, and his hips rocked into my hand until at last he called out. His head rose off the bed as he squirted rivulets of come over my hand and his abs and up his chest.

“Fuck… Jay.” Edward exhaled loudly, looking down at the mess he’d made over his chest.

When his head flopped back onto the bed, I leaned over and kissed him roughly while trying not to smear his jizz over my chest at the same time. Edward laughed at me, or rather the way I was holding my hand, trying to keep his jizz from dripping onto my bed. I reached over to grab some tissues from a conveniently placed box and wiped the worst of it off my hand and his chest. Edward thought it was amusing when I grimaced at the soggy mess now in my palm. I dumped it in the bin, washed my hands in the sink, grabbed a flannel and cleaned Edward’s chest for him, but was distracted and spent more time flicking my tongue over the piercings in his nipples and belly button.

Edward suddenly went ticklish and I had him squirming and giggling under me. We ended up kissing some more before I settled down and snuggled up to him for a cuddle.

With one arm wrapped around my shoulder, I draped my body and leg over his as we lay there chatting about all sorts. I was relaxed and totally at ease with Edward and he appeared to be just as happy. We were warm and completely content in each other’s arms.

I could feel myself starting to doze when Edward’s phone burst into life. He scrambled out of bed and scooped up his jeans in an attempt to get to it quickly. I could have bet that it was Ellis interrupting us again, but surprisingly it was Edward’s mother.

Edward mouthed ‘sorry’ as he pulled on his jeans and sat down on the bed with his back resting against the headboard, obviously settling in for a long conversation. I draped myself across his lap, leisurely tracing his sprinkling of star tattoos as he spoke. I thought about making myself scare just in case he wanted some private time with her, but he wrapped his free hand around my waist and pulled me closer to his body, telling me I didn’t need to move. I tried not to listen to what they were saying but it wasn’t easy. I focused on the timbre of his voice and his mannerisms. He was the same with her as he was with everyone else—natural and so beautiful. I idly wondered what his mother thought of having two gay sons.

I got the impression that she already knew about me and it appeared that Edward was trying to arrange a time when I could meet his parents. We still had to visit my parents and I was looking forward to introducing Edward to my mother. I was certain she would like him.

After about ten or even fifteen minutes, I needed to use the bathroom, so I peeled myself away from Edward’s body. Pulling on my jeans and t-shirt, I headed down the hallway to the communal bathroom.

I thought about having a quick shower to clean up as I hadn’t showered since the previous evening, but I hadn’t brought my wash bag or towels with me so I decided to wait until Edward had gone home.

I used the urinal and was washing my hands when I heard the door to one of the cubicles opening slowly. I was surprised because I thought I’d been alone. The figure moved toward the sink. I glanced up with the intention of catching a quick glimpse in the mirror to see if it was someone I recognized. My eyes focused on the familiar piercing dark eyes and cold fear swept through me.

“Jedd?” I cried almost in disbelief.

“Jayden,” he responded, his voice a menacing tone.

Neither of us moved; our gaze now locked firmly in the mirror.

I tried to face up to him while hiding my trepidation at the same time.

“How the hell did you get into this building?” I demanded. He needed to key the security number in at the entrance.

“Oh, and it’s nice to see you, too, Jayden.” He sneered back at me, his top lip curling up.

“What do you want?” I continued, moving fractionally so I could bolt toward the exit.

Jedd stepped forward as well, blocking my escape with his large frame. “I just wanted to see you and have a little chat,” he said, calmer now. “Someone kindly held the front door open for me when I said I was one of your boyfriends.”

I swallowed around a dry lump in my throat. “What do you want to chat about? I’m with Edward now. I thought he told you that.”

“Oh, he did and that’s what I wanted to talk to you about,” he said and another chill ran through me.

I waited for him to continue and prayed Edward wouldn’t come looking for me. I didn’t want anything to happen to him. Seb and Ellis were nowhere near and my phone was in my room so I had no way of texting them for help.

“You see, Jayden, even if you don’t realize it, you’re still mine, and a few months apart and your so-called boyfriend can’t change that fact. I just need you to understand that.”

He had to be delusional and I rapidly tried to think of a way out of this potentially dangerous situation.

“Let me help you make up your mind,” Jedd said as he stepped closer to me. I was now backed up against one of the basins with no means of escape that I could see.

“If you don’t stop seeing Edward immediately, I will pay a visit to his brother and his friends and—how can I put this?—I only hope they like hospital food.”

His face was serious and I would be responsible if something bad happened to any one of them.

“And then if you still need persuading, I’m sure I could have another little chat with Edward when he is on his own.”

I knew enough of Jedd to know he would carry out these threats.

“So you’re going to go back to your room now and tell your boyfriend it’s all over and that you don’t want to see him again.”

Jedd leaned in close, grabbed me swiftly by the scruff of the neck and kissed me firmly on the mouth. I gasped at his audacity but didn’t respond or move my mouth. He tasted of stale alcohol and cigarettes. Pulling away, he smirked, “Do it for me.”

I made my escape immediately. My first reaction was to think about calling the police as soon as I got to my room, but as I trudged down the corridor, I decided that was a bad idea. Jedd would only talk his way out of the situation and it would probably make the whole matter worse. I had to protect Edward and my friends. I didn’t have a clue what I was going to say to Edward, but I knew the next few minutes would be the worst of my life.

I entered my room and Edward was still talking animatedly on the phone to his mother. He sent me an apologetic look, but I avoided his eyes and went over to stand by my desk. I deliberately faced away from him staring at my pinboard as my mind whirred trying to decide my next course of action.

I had absolutely no choice in the matter. This was it—I was going to have to end it with him and I had to do it in a manner that would make him believe everything I was about to say to him. I knew I had very little time to come up with a plausible reason for our break up. After this afternoon’s amazing loving, what could I say to him that would make him believe I no longer had any feelings for him?

I ran my fingers idly over my desk and the books scattered untidily on it. I lifted up the cover of one of the books I needed to read before my next lecture. It was then I thought of what I could say to him.

Closing my eyes and taking a deep breath, I prepared my words carefully before I faced him for what could possibly be the last time.

Please, Edward, forgive me. I never meant to hurt you. Dear God, I truly hope one day Edward and I will be together again.

Instead of my life flashing before me, I imagined a future place where Edward and I could always be together.

I was suddenly aware that Edward had stopped speaking and I froze.

“Mum, I’ve got to go now. Jay needs me,” he said so prophetically.

“Jay?” His voice trembled. “Babe, what’s wrong?” He knew even before I turned around to face him. “Have I done something to upset you?”

With a determined and serious look pasted on my face, I slowly turned to confront him. I had to make him believe that this was goodbye.

I drew in a deep, shuddering breath of air. “Edward, I’ve been thinking. I’ve got too much work to do. All these books need to be read over the next few days and I’ve got at least three assignments to complete by Friday,” I started.

“Oh, all right. I’ll go home early tonight so you can get on with it, then.” He looked concerned yet hurt at the same time. He rose off my bed and walked towards me.

I had to tell him before he got too close.

“But it’s going to be like this every week until the end of the year,” I continued quickly. “I just don’t want to fall behind with my assignments and I’m sure it’s the same for you.”

Edward stopped a few feet in front of me. I could see he was trying to process what I was trying to say to him. “So we get our work done before we see each other or go out anywhere,” he suggested, anxiety clearly in his voice, “or we work together in the same room.”

“No, Edward,” I said firmly, trying not to show any emotion in my face. “I think it would be best if we had a complete break so we can concentrate on our studies. You’d distract me too much. It’s over Edward. I don’t have time to do this.”

Edward blinked and his jaw dropped a little. I’m sure I could feel my heart starting to crack.

“I don’t think you’re good for me, Edward,” I added before he could say anything.

“I’m not good enough for you?” he whispered, sadness washing over his face.

I love you, Edward. I’m so sorry, I repeated in my head.

“I don’t understand. What’s brought about this change? We’ve had a wonderful weekend. We’re meant to be together. Please, Jay, I love you. I need you,” he begged. Tears filled his eyes as he reached out his hand towards me.

If I had listened more closely, I’m sure I would have heard my heart break in two.

~O~

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